Bonuses Are Nonsense

Some years ago, I had the misfortune to work for a complete imbecile. He proposed that my department be paid a bonus based on its profit. I objected to this on several grounds, the primary one being, 'To offer us bonuses is insulting. It suggests that we are not working as hard or as well as we could.'

There are many other objections to bonuses, but this is, I believe, the principal one. It doesn't worry high-flying bankers because, while they may be working as hard as they can, they can always find a new way to swindle their customers or the government. By offering them bonuses in such circumstances is to encourage them to do so.

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